Saad

"I'll not let you kill my mother!" Our fate lives in us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.  

You all are equally responsible for bringing me to this edge where I'm standing now. You all accepted my decisions and my choices but you never gave respect to them. I tried to make you all understand, you pretended you did, but then again people are full of surprises. There was one person whose support was the only thing I needed in all of this. Is that too much to ask? I still don't care about what everyone thinks. Its my life and I wish people let me live it the way I want, with people I choose.

I tried to blend in but it wasn't enough. Its never enough.

but yeah what the hell, it will all be over in few days anyway

I'm tired :( All I know is that when I need you the most, you're not there for me. I wish you were though. I wish I didn't have to face this alone. I wish there was somebody.

I'm not sure if I'm going to survive this or not. Are the things going to get better before next month or not? Am I going to find anything, any reason by then or not? Part of me wishes that I knew the answer to these questions.. But then if I knew, and if the answer was No , would it stop these miserable thoughts?

I never sat down and decided to become a story. I just wanted to tell one. I never wanted to be thought of as special. Just human. I never set out to help people or make them feel better. I just needed you because I felt alone.

I feel like I can't tell anyone about my depression. When I start to open up, they just get annoyed by me.

If you find me dead, please know that I never meant to hurt anyone. I only wanted to rid the world of one more broken soul.

nowadays saying "what the hell, I'm leaving anyways" kind of makes it easier to endure everything I'm going through.