Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you're gone..
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Ever been in a situation when you receive a message from the person you love the most in the world, you read it in the morning, and then as the day goes by, you start to realize that this may very well be the last time you are ever going to hear from them? That this message may be the last message you ever going to receive from them? And then the night approaches, and your fear starts to turn into reality when you still don't receive any reply.. God it's killing me, why I'm not dead yet? Or am I alive?
Well, God, if heart is not, if you are reading this, whom I, these days, give me, in the place, I can, my, back, hug, I feel, what to ask, who can, either spiritual, asking you to, so, hug, I don't really, someone me, and, know, alone, and I'm sure you are, maybe I am, hug, something, can, or someone, love and someone, I can, give, or someone, I don't know anymore...
“The worst feeling: Life & time & people move so fast around you that you can’t catch your breath. So you sit & wonder when someone will notice you’ve stopped breathing at all. You have that familiar glazed expression & you have plenty of stories to go with the scars people can see & the ones they don’t. So you sit there..not breathing.. waiting.. hoping someone will notice your silent, aching screaming “I’M NOT OKAY!”"
Look at me now.....but wait, what are you looking at? I may seem perfectly fine to you, perfectly smiling, perfectly laughing, but I, and only I know what I have become from the inside. The emptiness. I'm getting tired of faking the smiles, failing most of the time. I often want to scream out loud, but turns out that silence is the most powerful scream for me. "You" asked me why am I walking alone in this cold winter night? Becuz sometimes I want to keep walking till I leave myself, my this self, behind. Why "no"? Cuz I don't wanna ruin another "mine". "You" asked me why am I not talking to you anymore? Maybe cuz I'm not the only one you got now. "You" may wonder why am I calling u so often nowadays...you would realize if only you could see me at that time, at that moment....I just wish that one day, it all ends ;(
faking smiles
This is like the fourth or fifth time my roommate asked me what's wrong? Why are you so down? and this is like the fourth and fifth time I failed to fake a smile...
Like Never Before
So here I am, on the roof, staring at the moon, trying to collect myself, tears, tissues lying around me, trembling, some because of cold, some because of grief...
Raining inside
A sad and sometimes unjust fact of life is that people change: Hearts change, feelings change. Sometimes circumstances change the way that we feel, sometimes it is another influence from deep within ourselves.
