Look at me now.....but wait, what are you looking at? I may seem perfectly fine to you, perfectly smiling, perfectly laughing, but I, and only I know what I have become from the inside. The emptiness. I'm getting tired of faking the smiles, failing most of the time. I often want to scream out loud, but turns out that silence is the most powerful scream for me. "You" asked me why am I walking alone in this cold winter night? Becuz sometimes I want to keep walking till I leave myself, my this self, behind. Why "no"? Cuz I don't wanna ruin another "mine". "You" asked me why am I not talking to you anymore? Maybe cuz I'm not the only one you got now. "You" may wonder why am I calling u so often nowadays...you would realize if only you could see me at that time, at that moment....I just wish that one day, it all ends ;(
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.