Sometimes in life, we are forced to do things that kills our insides; we don't have any other choice. Even if we do, we can't see it until it's too late. Sometimes things are not to be dealt with in the "natural way". You have to listen to your insides screaming at you which are louder than any thunder, and yet there is no way out except to do what you should't do.
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.