there are just moments when you just cry for no apparent reason. you couldn't tell where it was coming from or why you are on that state. it just comes. the silence cradling you in stillness. the space hugging the void in as if it's your protector. you don't know whether to laugh at yourself or to cry even more. you can't tell if you're happy being alone or you just want the alone-ness to take pity on you..
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.