Sometimes you mentally prepare yourself for things. You tell yourself to not feel hurt, to not overthink, to not get sad, to be okay with it, to take it all in. But then when it happens, all your preparation turns to shit. You feel your heart sink, your stomach crushed and your mind jammed. Turns out there are things you can't help but feel deep and hurt deep.
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.