I’m a firm believer in the quote “People always leave.” Everyone that I cared about, well most people, have walked out of my life and never bothered to look back. Some do come back but things are never the way they’re suppose to be. People change, things change, time moves forward and life doesn’t stop for anyone. I just wish for once, I could let someone in all the way and let them know every single thing about me, let them figure me out and not have them leave forever. I don’t want things to be awkward between old flames and me, I want to still be friends with my best friend until my last breath, I want so many things for the world and for myself. I just don’t want to get hurt over and over again. I mean, after a certain point, you stop feeling the pain. You stop letting people in. You build walls so you can protect yourself, so you can be safe in this little fairytale world you create where everything is just okay for one second. Then someone comes along and you think you can trust them and they break down your walls. Then? Then they leave you and you’re expected to pick up the pieces. The sad part? You build those walls up again and the cycle repeats all over again.
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.