There comes a point when your so used to getting hurt, you don't need to cry anymore. you feel like screaming but you just sit there in silence. you shut your eyes and just think. sometimes you just shut down... I mean being broken can be exhausting. there comes a point when you realise tears cant change anything. you've been let down by so many people, you've almost learnt to just expect dissappointment from everyone. you hide behind the words 'im fine' because you know you will never be able to explain exactly how broken you feel, how much pain your in... trying seems pointless. you just sit in silence alone. because know no matter how hard you try, you'll never be good enough for anyone except yourself.
these days are hard.
Sometimes I'm sitting with my family, or sitting alone, and it just hits me out of nowhere, the realization of how much I miss your presence in my life, how much I miss our talks, your teasing, everything. But that follows with what happened, how you preferred a person you started talking few months ago over me, me whom you called your brother and you had known for few years now. I was the person who gave preference to you over everyone, because I called you my family. You once told me not to expect too much from you but at least you could have known your priorities. Or maybe you had always known, it was just me who didn't know them. Stupid me.