Saad

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes, every day I wondered how I’d get through the night. Every change that life has thrown at me. I'm thankful for every break in my heart, I'm grateful for every start. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but they were lessons learned.

Simple efforts are really appreciated especially when you didn't expect someone to do it for you.

and I always miss him when I'm away from him

I just wish I was enough for someone.

"I'll not let you kill my mother!" Our fate lives in us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.  

You all are equally responsible for bringing me to this edge where I'm standing now. You all accepted my decisions and my choices but you never gave respect to them. I tried to make you all understand, you pretended you did, but then again people are full of surprises. There was one person whose support was the only thing I needed in all of this. Is that too much to ask? I still don't care about what everyone thinks. Its my life and I wish people let me live it the way I want, with people I choose.

I tried to blend in but it wasn't enough. Its never enough.

but yeah what the hell, it will all be over in few days anyway

I'm tired :( All I know is that when I need you the most, you're not there for me. I wish you were though. I wish I didn't have to face this alone. I wish there was somebody.

I'm not sure if I'm going to survive this or not. Are the things going to get better before next month or not? Am I going to find anything, any reason by then or not? Part of me wishes that I knew the answer to these questions.. But then if I knew, and if the answer was No , would it stop these miserable thoughts?

I never sat down and decided to become a story. I just wanted to tell one. I never wanted to be thought of as special. Just human. I never set out to help people or make them feel better. I just needed you because I felt alone.

I feel like I can't tell anyone about my depression. When I start to open up, they just get annoyed by me.

If you find me dead, please know that I never meant to hurt anyone. I only wanted to rid the world of one more broken soul.

nowadays saying "what the hell, I'm leaving anyways" kind of makes it easier to endure everything I'm going through.

‎*that moment when you have no idea why someone hates you.

I hate hypocrites :(

This society is fucked up and people don't care about other's relationships. People are fucked up.

most probably my last Eid.

When you fall for someone, you lose your balance and sight to many things other than the person you fell for.

The sun may dry the tears from your eyes, but not the tears from your heart.

Sep17, 2012

In this world, you will be very lucky if you are able to call even one person as your 'true' friend.

boring pathetic useless pointless meaningless life

Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone using Telenor Connection.

There’s something inside of me, dying to cry, dying to be heard, dying to be soothed, loved, cared about. There’s something inside of me, dying to have what i can’t have.

though it was sweet waking up to all the wishes and my friends and family remembering my birthday instead of being reminded through their facebook...still I wish I had someone to celebrate my birthday with :(

And I told you to be patient, And I told you to be fine, And I told you to be balanced, And I told you to be kind, And now all your love is wasted, Then who the hell was I? 'Cause now I'm breaking at the bridges, And at the end of all your lines. Who will love you? Who will fight? And who will fall far behind?

 I want what I can’t have and don’t want what I can have. 

I'm exhausted. Life is exhausting. Caring for people is exhausting. And thinking you might lose someone you deeply care about?  Well, that's the most exhausting thing of all.

It always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun.

Sometimes, being hurt too many times doesn't make you stronger. It destroys who you were, who you wanted to be, and makes you who you are today.

I wonder if anyone is ever going to understand?

a shot from my home's top..

I hate going to sleep feeling like *THIS* :'(

I don't want to be alone tonight.

"When I'm alone I feel content to get stuck in my own little world and I like to write, or play piano, or read. But when I'm with other people I am more acutely aware of how disconnected I am from others. It's a painful feeling watching other people bond closer to each other while you are watching from the outside."

Memories are a way of holding on to things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.

Then you gonna stand there looking down Yeah, I thought we were in it together Guess I was just mistaken that I'd be better alone Funny how you change, funny how you lie .. Damn its better that you leave it alone

I couldn't delete my facebook profile. My sis didn't let me; warning me of very serious consequences if I ever did, so, I just couldn't when I had already made up my mind to do it. I deactivated it though. But my change of mind proved disastrous for most of the people in my facebook friend's list. If you are reading this post and you were in my facebook, you may very well be blocked already. But no you can't find out yet if you are blocked or not because its deactivated. Before deactivating, I had 81 friends in my facebook. And I trimmed it to 13. Brutal, isn't it? Out of those 13, 6 people are the ones who commented on my last status (the one saying goodbye to everyone), posted on my wall or inboxed me. And 7 people, well they are undeleteable too, or let's call them unblockable. The rest of the people who I blocked don't really care if I am in their facebook or not, neither do I. I don't know when I will be back there, maybe in some near future,

Maybe the real reason I don't want to sleep is that I don't want to wake up anymore. You wake up to something, someone, you know like, you have a reason to wake up. But for me, I can't find a solid reason for waking up. Damn I can't even find a reason for my existence..!!

I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone. All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name.

You're gunna walk down that isle without mistake, yeahh... Cuz I didn't buy a ring, but you got engaged, yeahh.. Ohh.. cuz I was stupid to let you walk away, yeahh.. Ohh... and now it hurts because I never thought that I'll see the day when.. You'll be gone and I'm stuck with what's left of a heart And it kills me inside, cuz you are, are, are The sweetest love, I've ever know, I've ever known The sweetest love, I've ever know, I've ever known So why won't you give me another chance to earn you... Ooh.. and I understand that I don't deserve you. Ooh.. and why can't you see, baby, you complete me Ooh .. and I'm broken and joking and along the breathing... Cuz since you've been gone... And I dunno why I'm stuck with what's left of a heart And it kills me inside cuz you are... The sweetest love, I've ever known, I've ever known The sweetest love, I've ever known, I've ever known The sweetest love, I&#

*That moment when you are going to do something that you know will hurt you too much, but you have no other option.

All the words unspoken, promises broken I cried for so long Wasted too much time, should've seen the signs Now I know just what went wrong

"Decisions are the hardest to make especially when it's a choice between where you should be and where you want to be."

Don't ever use someone's past against them. You're just reminding them of the mistakes they made back then. If you watch their facial expression carefully, then you'll see the hurt in their eyes as they reminisce everything that happened. Never use emotion as a weapon, it strikes deeper than you can imagine.

Its not an easy decision. I LOVE my facebook profile. I wish I could explain to everyone that why I am taking this step. I spent so much time in there, spilling out my thoughts and feelings in the status updates and comments. People came, people left, & new people came. Like many others, facebook is the starting point of many new experiences for me, new feelings, new emotions. Right now, its like half part of me wants to delete it, and other half doesn't want that. Though the later half doesn't want to use it either, just keep it. But its painful. Its painful for you when the realization of something keeps hitting you over and over again, realization that things will never be same again. My friends (not the 'facebook' friends) don't want me to delete it. One of them asked me to stay and face whatever's bothering me instead of running away and cutting away from everyone. But I've had enough. How can I face something when I can't do anything about i

In life you have two loves: one who changes the way you see yourself and the world, and the other who puts you back together after you’ve lost the first.

On this day last year, I met someone really special to me :) *blessed*

Before we met, I was as lost as a person could be and yet you saw something in me that somehow gave me direction again.

ansoo

ansoo

Once you found out what you need, you'll know the things that must never be thrown out of your life.

If you can't find something to say to help someone you care, sometimes just being there is what matters most.

When you feel alone, may the stars remind you of how God wants to lighten up your dark moments. ♥

We all have that one friend who acts like they're your parent ;)

I've already learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or how you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.

Family are all the good people who collect spaces in your heart along your way. The one’s whose hearts collide with yours. Family may last a lifetime, a season, or enter your life for a reason. Whatever the outcome, never take for granted the one’s who made your soul shine a little brighter.

Don't waste your life trying to impress other people. Just do what you love and love what you do.

Whatever life gives you, even if it hurts you, just be strong and act like you're okay. Remember: strong walls shake but never collapse.

It’s funny, when I think about this exact time last year… Things were so different. I never would have thought that things could change so much in only a year. I wonder what next June will be like.

There is no point being alive anymore.

* That sad moment when you realize you care more for someone than they care for you.

When God puts that special someone in your life, you better not let that person go..

apnay aap ko khona jitna asan tha, ussay khyn ziada mushkil tha apnay aap ko maaf kerna

In The End, I Feel Like It's Always Me That Ends Up Getting Hurt.

Never let go of anything you can't go a day without thinking about.

Sometimes in life we just need smeone who will be there for us. Someone who will listen. Someone who will understand that we're not perfect.

Sometimes your words hurt a person, and it may happen because a part of you wants to make them realize something. But later when they tell you that just how much they were hurt because of those words, you feel so bad that you can't describe it. And that's when the real meaning of "Words spoken can never be taken back even after an apology" hits you. "Our words have even more power than our thoughts because they not only affect ourselves, but the people and the world around us." Be careful.

There are some things time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold.

Its like I am being eaten from the inside..my insides are screaming..I am in so much pain and still I have to hold on so that not to make it more difficult for you than it already is.

How do you let go of that special someone you never ever want to leave but your mere presence is enough to messed up their life...How to let go when you find nothing to hold on to..

The wrong ones can't hurt you, it's the right ones that can … they can kill you.

Sometimes I wonder why words can mean nothing and silence can mean everything.

And you know what the hardest part is? That now, when I cry, I don't even try to stop my tears because I know they're going to fall no matter what.

It was just one of those days when you can walk around fooling everyone into thinking you're happy and look back and notice that every time you smile or laugh there is a little pang of hurt in your heart because you know you are lying to the people who mean the most to you.

You may not realize it, but on the inside I'm crying. I may smile and laugh, but that's my only way of hiding.

When you finally realize that you didn't matter at all to someone, you begin to wonder if you ever mattered to anyone.

Have you ever buried your face in your hands because no one around you understands or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you, you?

Right now I'm not sure of what to do. I'm not sure if I should live or die. Not sure whether I should just ignore my heart for now. Not sure if I can handle much more

You said you were always the one who cared more in relationships, so you should know exactly how I'm feeling right now. You are fucking breaking me in two, and don't even seem to care..

Don’t come close if later you’ll just pass by. Don’t smile if later you’ll just make me cry. Don’t touch me if later you’ll just walk away. Don’t love me if later you’ll just leave and won’t stay..

I always distance myself when people become emotionally close to me. Maybe it's because I know in the end, they'll end up leaving, they always do.

Was it fun for you to watch me fall apart?

I had a lot of reasons to give up on you, but I still chose to stay. You had a lot of reasons to stay, but you chose to give up.

Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before.

When people ask me about you now, I never know what to say.

I opened myself to you...I took that risk of getting hurt...But I guess that's what you do for someone you care about.

In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love..

Why you didn't let me go when I wanted to..??! "I have lost too many good people in my life and I don't want to lose anyone else", that's what you said. So, I didn't leave. And just when I had started feeling comfortable with the part of you that I thought I could trust, you cut me out. Yeah, The End.

I feel like I’m stuck in a prison...a prison where the only guard keeping me in is myself.. and I'd let myself out... if only I remembered where I put the key.

It’s not how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting the person who has it.

It's amazing, some people they say these small things, one sentence and it changes the way you feel about them in an instant. Small little words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. It changes everything. Nothing between you is ever really the same again-even if they dont know it, it still happens.

Sometimes feelings are gone. You finally are able to put the past behind you and forget. But sudden flashbacks and chanced meetings reignite the dead flames and you wonder and you worry. Your heart is willing but your mind says no... and you listen to your heart.

I guess the reason we could never work things out is because I was too proud to forgive you for something you were truely sorry for..

Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

You can tell your heart to move on... it just sometimes won't listen..

Sometimes I dream about you, and the days after are the worst… Because everywhere I go, I’m constantly reminded that you're with me anymore :(

Everything is fine. Couldn't hurt more.

I'm twisted because one side of me is telling me that I need to move on...while on the other side I want to break down and cry…

Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but we can. People are like that as well. ♥

Never forget what people say when they're mad, cuz thats when the truth comes out.

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you can keep loving them with every broken bit..

I don't get how someone can be friends with you today then act like they don't even know you the other.

Physical pain never really hurts... It's the emotional pain that kills..!!

It just makes me realize how weird life is... the exact moment that meant nothin to you meant everything to me... and now I can't forget and you can't remember..

It's really painful to say goodbye to someone that you dont want to let go-but its even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay.

Sometimes destiny brings a stranger in our life when we need it the most. That stranger makes us feel special and helps us when we are in trouble, it soothes our souls. He/she brings laughter and love back in someones life. When his/her job is done, he/she moves on to the next person in need. Was I your stranger? If so, did I help? I'd rather live life as the stranger that influenced you than to live as the loser you let go of.

You never truly love a person until the mere thought of you hurting that loved one is enough to break your own heart.

I miss you.. but I'm trying not to care anymore..

coz in the end all you really have are memories..